...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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