There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
