We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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