i think i have herpe
just one?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
