There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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