so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
now i know why i became what i already was.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
