last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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