His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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