I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Come on in and take your pants off
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