I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
