Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
