Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
