i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
