Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
