I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize