he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm really busy with my period
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