feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm both gender and math confused
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
