Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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