her vagine was all disorganized.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
