If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My vagina is officially offended.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
