Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize