I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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