My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
