Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
there is glitter all over my balls
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize