walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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