Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
