I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
