would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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