At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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