I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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