Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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