? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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