Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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