Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
