how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love having hate sex.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
