im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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