first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she peed on how many people?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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