Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
