I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
