Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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