i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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