There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
