Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
