I feel like abortions should bother me more
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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