I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
