I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
