just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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