VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
