You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
