i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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