is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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