I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i out mim tonsoeep
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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