Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In other news, I just burned my penis
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
pray to the hookup gods
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
