i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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