He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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