you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
