So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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