Are we in a gay sports bar?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
